Hearing Semicolons

I mentioned previously that your ability to write with proper grammar "by ear" depended on your ability to "hear" semicolons.

As silly as that probably sounds, I wasn't being facetious. (Hm… I'm not sure I like that word.)

It is possible to "hear" semicolons, and periods, and many other punctuation marks. Because they function so written words can parallel spoken speech. Ideally, someone when speaking should have slight pauses within sentences and a longer pause between them. Not everyone does, which is part of the problem.

Commas can be "heard" as momentary pauses, periods as longer ones, and semicolons as pauses in-between the other two lengths. But different people speak differently, so your ability to hear the punctuation varies with your ability to comprehend the grammar of the speaker. We all know someone who runs all his sentences together and never stops and continually says and.

Mimicking that can work superbly in dialogue (or stream-of-consciousness writing), particularly by using dashes. Otherwise, the hearer who writes grammar by ear must translate the improper spoken grammar into what it should have sounded like, before he can write it properly.

So that's my warning to those who would only determine grammar by ear. It has its pitfalls.

Announcement: Comments Now Working!

After many hours of confusion and failure to find out what was wrong, I was finally able to get the comments to show up thanks to this advice, the link handed to me by nice Chuck from the Blogger help… forums? Group? Whatever you call it.

It looks like that blog in general will be good for someone with Blogger issues, so even if something else might be the problem for you, you may want to give it a try.

Watch the Glass!

In other words, here are the grammar rules you do not break, even in dialogue.

• Spelling.
• Rules about good sentence structure (like putting modifiers in the correct place).
• Rules about capitalization of sentences and proper names (which includes names of locations).
• Rules about how to end a sentence (which would also apply to sentence fragments).
• Rules you don't understand why they should be used where they're used.

Before you get mad at me for that last one, that's the ideal situation. If you don't understand why a rule applies, you won't be able to understand (or defend yourself) when you don't apply it. It is possible to tweak the rules "by ear." Unfortunately, it's a bit hard to hear punctuation marks. (Possible, but difficult, and cues vary among people, but that's a topic for another time.)

Rule-bending by ear can work for grammar in places where the rules are allowed to bend, but use your critical thinking. Any English speaker can read an intentional fragment and pick up the thought. but fi you lose yur speling capitalizashon an punshuashun peeple wont bee happie not manie peeple will undurstand u

After making that point, I'd better flee before you lynch me.

Grammar in Dialogue

Do not use formal grammar in dialogue!

Just use a little intuition. Consider the following example:

"Hello. I am Misti. What is your name?"

If you don't see the problem, try reading that aloud. It sounds awkward, like one of those Artificial Intelligences trying to be polite (to a comedic effect) in sci-fi.

Good dialogue therefore doesn't follow proper sentence rules. But it doesn't exactly transcribe real life dialogue, either. It mimicks real-life dialogue, giving the impression that it is what it isn't.

Why is that, do you ask? Why not merely transcribe true dialogue?

"Hi, I'm—" The speaker pauses, distracted by someone trying to get past her. "I'm Misti Wolanski." The listener signs that he can't hear. "Misti," the speaker repeats more loudly, pointing to herself. "Like a misty bog."

Did that scenario sound familiar? Even it was a cut and not entirely accurate version. Speech isn't really as concise as we like to think. It's often repetitive and long-winded. Good dialogue takes the tone and vocabulary of common longwinded speech and cuts it to its bones.

The tried-and-true test of writing dialogue is to read it aloud. If it sounds awkward or tongue-twisting, it's bad. (Unless it's something like V's intentional v-alliterated monologue in V for Vendetta. But that's an exception that proves the rule; if V hadn't been developed as a well-educated character who liked having fun at uneducated others' expense, it wouldn't have worked.)

The most noticeable differences in dialogue are the slang and fragments.

"Hey, I'm Misti. You?"

Dead: Formal Grammar, Colloquial Grammar—What's the Difference?

All right, time to demonstrate what I've been talking about! To illustrate the difference between formal and colloquial grammar, I've taken the afore-mentioned seven-paragraph ditty of mine and made two versions.

The first uses a form of grammar you were probably taught in school, while the second is more relaxed. I've toyed with both versions to aim for the best flow possible despite the grammar limits, but I still find the informal one better.

Is it still a bit awkward? Yep. It was a fun little future tense experiment. I know it's far from perfect, so please don't consider it flawless.

Either grammar style could be proper depending on what I wanted to do with this bit of fiction. But note what the difference in grammar style does to the tone. (No, this little story is not from personal experience of any kind.)

If you're of a more "tender" disposition and don't like dark stories, you probably won't like this. I've been told it puts the psychological nail on the head of BWS. Not that I knew what BWS was when I wrote it; I was merely extrapolating what I perceived to be possible in this type of relationship. I'm not sure if my ensuing accuracy is a good or bad thing…

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Somewhat Formal

Her husband will kill her. It will come quickly, once he embraces his internal darkness that he once loathed. Too often, she will conceal her injuries and lie about who hurt her. She will often hide from him and sob in some dark alley where no one can recognize her as the prominent woman she is.

She will see her death coming, as his anger and suspicion grow. She will not be able smile tolerantly at another man, or he will accuse her of flirting. He will perceive infidelity in anything more than a deadpan expression while speaking with other men.

She will struggle to stay within the his rules, but he will only see her attempts to lighten her mood despite her depression. One day she will slip, laughing at a joke from a male friend, and she will die.

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Colloquial

He'll kill her.

It will be only a matter of time, once he embraces the darkness within that once so sickened him. How many times will she conceal her bruises, her wounds? How many times will she lie about who has turned her into a bloody pulp? How many times will she hide from him, sobbing in some dark alley where it is too dark for anyone to recognize her—not that anyone would take the battered spouse for the prominent woman she is?

Too many.

She will see it coming—the anger growing in his gaze, the suspicion. She will not be able smile tolerantly at another man without being accused of flirting. He will not let her speak to men with anything more than an expressionless mien.

Anything more will be betrayal.

She will struggle to stay within the bounds he sets, within his controls… But he'll only see her amiable personality fighting to assert itself from behind her chronic depression. One day she will slip, her suicidal desires vanishing from a much-needed laugh a male friend gives her.

And she will die.

Where Should Proper Grammar Be Used?

Go ahead and give this post's title a double look. Proper grammar that might be, but something about it sounds off in a blog.

Ah, the beauties of informal vs. formal, fiction vs. fiction. Grammar lovers like me can spend a day discussing the nuances between one of those varieties, but I won't bore you with all that jargon. In essence, all types of writing need proper grammar according to whatever source your (boss) is using, but some rules… slide… in certain contexts.

Actually, those rules relax in most contexts. But that should be obvious. You don't watch a movie or a play to hear proper grammar spoken. When you read a blog, you may be fortunate to find any grammar rules implemented.

Some people mistakenly believe that because grammar relaxes in informal writing like web logs (blogs) and fiction (especially in dialogue), no grammar need be applied to these types of writing. This is wrong. If you don't believe me, try to read that messed up copy of my two paragraphs at the bottom of this post.

So much of "proper" grammar should be used everywhere. But in cases like informal and fiction writing, writers can use something I like to call "colloquial" grammar. Notice my "Ah" a few paragraphs up. That wouldn't be acceptable in a formal paper, book, or article.

But in an informal situation, it can add to the flow. "Colloquial" grammar can be thought of as "spoken" grammar. It can appear in most web writing, in relaxed articles, in good copy, in fiction, and in dialogue.

In fact, you can always identify bad dialogue because it doesn't use relaxed grammar.

Run-on sentences are still a no-no—unless you want to join two sentences with a dash, which technically isn't a part of grammar whatsoever, but it does mimic the effect of a run-on. Commas mean pauses and can therefore be left off of some places they're usually required (like in "Now, class…"). Intentional fragments can offer their marvelous services for tweaking readers' impressions.

That's what writing does, see. It structures words in a specific way to get the reader to feel, realize, or know something. If you've ever read a fiction book that had you on the edge of your chair in suspense, you might want to go back and review that story, considering how the author arranged the words (and, probably, sentence fragments) to make you feel that way. In fact, I could give you a seven-paragraph example that would chill you.

Rules relax where they do for effect. If you learn the proper rules and the reasons for them, you should have an easy enough time learning where to relax them. If you write grammar by ear, you might be okay depending on your ear's ability to hear semicolons.

Now, are there other explanations for why grammar rules relax where they do? Most likely. It's like many issues: many methods of explanation guide you to the same concept. I already know that I approach punctuation by what it means; quite an unconventional method.

But if that's the explanation you need to be able to process it to use it as properly as is needed in each proper context, it's all good.

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Example of Grammar Being Ignored:

go ahead and give this posts title a double look proper grammar that might be but something about it sounds off in a blog ah the beauties, of informal vs formal & fiction vs fiction grammar lovers like me can spend a day discussing the nuances between one of those varieties, but i wont bore you with all thatjargonall types of writing need proper grammar according to whatever source your boss is using, but some rules slid in certain contexts.

What Is Proper Grammar?

Theoretically, proper grammar are the set of rules that are universally true for a language.

In actuality, a universal "proper" grammar doesn't exist. (I'm speaking for English, here. I don't know enough Spanish to know about that language.) Even within the United States, rules vary according to source.

Now, English does have certain little rules that are universal, or at least rules that I haven't heard any source contradict yet. Like those two commas in the previous sentence—those are correct according to every source I've read (which would be several). Those rules are therefore "proper" grammar, though often with exception clauses. For example, someone might omit the comma after "Now" to emphasize how he wants it to be read.

Otherwise, "proper" grammar is whatever grammar is considered correct by your source. Should a list of three or more items have that [serial] comma before the and? Some sources say "Yes," and some say "No."

These differences do not mean that there is no such thing as "proper" grammar. There is. The distinction is that different sources define proper grammar in different ways.

Therefore, proper grammar would be the grammar rules considered correct by a particular grammatical source.

P.S. If this sounds a bit disjointed, please forgive me. My brain started shutting down for the night over two hours ago.

Why Learn Grammar?

I said before that grammar is the rules of a language that enable it to be understood to all who know that language. Learning grammar—even just knowing it "by ear" rather than knowing the strict rules—enables you to write so you're understood.

Even if you're clueless about where to put commas in a sentence, you still use grammar when you order your words. There are usually multiple ways to order words in order to express your meaning, like a math problem can be written a few different ways.

But certain things you have to keep in a sentence if you don't want to lose the meaning. For example, 5 + (2 · 10) = 25, but if you remove that +, you get 5(2·10) = 100. In the same way, "Betty ate, as did the dog." says something very different from "Betty ate the dog."

Grammar therefore lets you write so you'll be understood. It also aids in reading. Imagine if English lacked spaces between words, capital letters, or punctuation for sentences, and lacked paragraph breaks on top of it. It would be a whole lot harder to read and understand, wouldn't it?

That's why you learn grammar in any language. You don't toss numbers together in math and expect the problem to be understood. You shouldn't treat English that way, either.

What Is Grammar?

Before I can expect to convince you to use proper grammar, I have to make sure we're on the same page in the dictionary for what grammar is. (Please bear with me even if you know this already; it's better to be certain than to be mistaken about a premise.)

Grammar is the rules of presentation for a particular language that enable the various people familiar with that language to understand the meaning of what is being expressed.

Every language has grammar. Math has grammar. If I write 5/10 you know I mean 0.5 and not 2, from the grammar of the math language. 5/10 is not the same as 10/5. Similarly, "Ellen loves chocolate" doesn't mean the same thing as "Chocolate loves Ellen."

Grammar are those rules of ordering and punctuation that dictate how you set things up to express what you want to say.

Yes, this is short, I know.

New Theme for September!

So, what's this month's theme for Cuppa Caff's Wednesday and Saturday posts? (Remember that random extra posts are… random extra ones that are as off-topic as my brain.)

For September 2007, join Cuppa Caff for answers about the use of proper grammar!

These won't be posts on how to properly place a comma or format a plural in English, but they will answer such questions as why and where to use it. (And where proper grammar or the formal variant can be ignored, if you so desire.)